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Denmark offers to buy America from Russia

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  • Denmark offers to buy America from Russia


    https://rochdaleherald.co.uk/2019/08...​​
    Mette Frederiksen, the Prime Minister of Denmark has reportedly expressed an interest in buying the Russian controlled territory of the United States of America.

    Rich in natural resources and fuckwits the territory covers almost 10 million square kilometers and is said to contain huge oil and gas reserves and the largest number of fatties on the planet.

    Russian Premier Vladimir Putin who bought the US with a Betamax videotape of two prostitutes urinating on a dementia patient told The Rochdale Herald.

    “It’s a pretty good deal and we’re open to discussing it with Denmark. Russia bought North America for the price of two hookers and a large bottle of Evian Water so anything over 75 rubles is a good return on our investment.”

    “Denmark would be a pretty good acquirer for the territory. They’re the happiest country in the world, have an amazing welfare state and they can all read.”

    “Frankly, I have no idea why they want to buy it.”
    © Copyright © 2019 The Rochdale Herald. All Rights Reserved.
    "Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect." –Mark Twain

  • #2
    What, nothing? You guys suck.

    Jared (thought it was hilarious)
    "Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect." –Mark Twain

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    • #3
      ..I couldn’t tell if it was satire, that’s where the world just is these days.
      They speak in bulletpointese leftist nutjob drivel. It doesn't matter. Nothing is as great a motivator as the chance to truly be free.
      -Mr. Raceboy

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      • #4
        What if it isn't?
        "Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect." –Mark Twain

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        • #5
          I want my share and I don't want it in rubles.
          At the precipice, we change!
          The problem with Capitalism is that humans run it.

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          • #6
            I think it would have been funnier if it just was "Denmark offers to buy Alaska."

            Pete (thinks that's the better parallel since we'd never sell it and there's no earthy reason they'd want it)

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