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Thread: The Official Jokes Thread

  1. #341
    I'll take my chances. Put Master
    Mr. Raceboy's Avatar
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    What do we want?

    A cure for Tourette's.

    When do we want it?

    Cunt!
    "Democracy is a form of worship. It is the worship of jackals by jackasses." H.L. Mencken

  2. #342
    put-put Put Master
    Jared's Avatar
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    President Donald Trump.

    Worst joke ever
    "Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect." ĖMark Twain

  3. #343
    Whatís the best thing about Switzerland?

    I donít know, but their flag is a big plus.

    Pete (lulz)

  4. #344
    Resident Black Man Great Put
    Kutnupe14's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Plezercruz View Post
    Whatís the best thing about Switzerland?

    I donít know, but their flag is a big plus.

    Pete (lulz)
    If we banned people...

  5. #345
    Sid and Nancy are walking down the street late one night. Sid is striding along with his confident swagger with Nancy hanging on his arm.

    Nancy stops in front of a shop window, "Ooohh Sid." she says, "That diamond necklace is beautiful. I'd love to have that necklace".

    "Well darlin'", says Sid, "if you want that necklace you can have it. Anyfin' for my love.".

    Sid reaches down, picks-up a brick from the gutter, smashes the front window of the store, reaches in and pulls-out the necklace. Nancy turns around as Sid puts the necklace around her neck.

    "Oh, I love you Sid. You're the best boyfriend evah!", says Nancy, showing off her sparkling new necklace.

    They continue walking down the street. Passing a few more shops, Nancy stops again and calls out, "Ooohh Sid! That ruby ring in there. I'd love that ruby ring!"

    Sid stops and looks at the window. "Well my darlin', if you want that ring, you can have it. Anyfin' for my best girl.".

    Again Sid reaches down, picks-up another brick from the gutter, smashes the front window of the store, reaches in and pulls-out the ring, placing it delicately on Nancy's finger.

    "Oh, it's gorgeous!" exclaims Nancy. "I do love you so, Sid".

    "Anyfin' for my gal." says Sid.

    They both continue walking along the street, Nancy admiring her new ring and necklace, when Nancy stops once more at another shop window.

    "Ooohh Sid! That fur coat - don't you fink I'd look beautiful in that fur coat?".

    Sid stops, turns slowly and says "Jeez Nancy! What do you fink I am - made of bricks?!?".

    Pete (tries a real joke from the late Kenny Everett)

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